Janice Life History

Nov 2008

As I begin writing notes for a personal history, I need to say that I am doing this in part because Richard felt it should be written as a legacy, in part, to his children because of my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and some of the extraordinary experiences I have had in the Church. But I also have been nudged by the Spirit of late to do this writing now that I’m in my 70’s, and not to wait until I’m too feeble or my memory is even worse than it is now.

I want to begin by recording what little I know about grandparents and then my parents regarding the greater family lines Rebecca and I (but by far Rebecca should have the credit) have worked over the past 8 years to obtain ancestral knowledge, and we have been blessed and somewhat successful back to the 1820’s – some 12,000 names have been identified and much of that temple work accomplished by me and members of Richard’s family.

Piccolo

My father’s parents were Erasmo and Marietta Piccolo who were born in Gaeta, Italy (north of Naples on a hillside overlooking the Bay of Gaeta). When Erasmo was around 19, he and his brother sailed to Bostom=n, MA. Rather than stay in the city, they went to the country and worked in the fields where fruits and vegetables were grown (Winchester, MA). After some years I assume they were able to buy land and raise their own crops because Erasmo had his own fruit stand. As time went by, the brothers felt they were earning enough of an income to send to the old country for wives.

Erasmo’s family chose Marietta Capodanno. (She was named Mary after her mother but called “little Mary or “Marietta.”) Marietta was 21 years old and had enough education to be a school teacher. Erasmo was 40 years old. Plans were made and Marietta, accompanied by her Mother, sailed to Boston to be married to a man she had never met. But her family likely knew his family and so an arrangement was made. Over time they had 6 children together –

• Angelina (Antie Ange)
• Mary (Antie May)
• Cosmo (Uncle Cozzie)
• Damiano (Uncle Danny)
• Francesco (Frank, my father)
• Josephina (Josephine or Auntie Jo)

When my father was 16, father passed away. Erasmo would have been about 56 years old, which was about the age people died in those days (my father was born in 1905 so his father died in 1921).

I don’t have very much information except that I think my father may have finished high school and then Grandma sold whatever property they had and moved the family to Watertown, MA. She bought a two-story house which accommodated two families. Grandma lived upstairs. I don’t know if Ange was married by then, but all of my life that I can remember, Ange and Eddie (Farrenkopf) lived downstairs and raised their family there. Josephine, who never married, lived upstairs with Grandma until she died, and then Josephine lived upstairs alone. Ange who was a sweet, caring person had Josephine eat dinner with their family basically all the rest of their lives.

Grandma was apparently quite a business woman. After the family was settled in Watertown, she bought a store overlooking the Charles River which the boys ran, and where Josephine worked after high school. Having a pharmacy was the thing in those days, so Grandma told my Dad to go to pharmacy school events after working in the store days.

Across the street from the store was a car barn – a place where trolley cars were housed and from where they came and went to their destination. Many people ended their route there and then came across the street to Piccolo’s for a cup of coffee, an ice cream, a sandwich, etc. My Mother (Dorothy Marie Julie) was one of those who came into the store regularly and that’s how she met Frank. They were married Feb. 2, 1936. Interestingly, they chose Feb. 2nd because it was my Grandmother’s birthday, but later when we obtained a copy of her birth certificate, it had her birth date as January 31st.

Ange married Augusto Edward Farrenkopf, and they had 4 children –

• Phyllis married George Gage – 4 children
• Charles married Mary Frascatore – 6 children?
• Brenda married Joseph Gebhardt – 2 children
• Anita married Paul O’Halloran – 4 boys

May (or Mary) married Thomas Green who had 2 children

• Robert married Kathryn or Kay and had 5 children?
• Gloria, never married

*Cosmo married Catherine Fallon; no children

Damiano or Danny married Mary Kinchla (she went by “Kinch”); they had three children –

• Diane (died of sids at approx. 2 1/2 months)
• Daniel
• Brenda

Frank married Dorthy Julian who had 4 children

• Janice, never married
• Raymond married Lenora Borello; 4 children
• Karen married Philp Wisner; no children
• Richard married Alice Cook; 8 children

Josephine, never married

* Cosmo died of cancer when he was about 38 years old. My mother described him as one who loved people, who was always happy, joking and smiling. Because of his love of people, since I have been doing family history research and have had so much success, I have thought that Cozzie accepted the gospel early in the Spirit world and that he has been a great missionary there in teaching the gospel to our Piccolo relatives.

Julian (Giuliano)

My mother’s parents were Steve (Stefano) and Mary Sullivan Julian. In the later 1800’s many people from Europe emigrated to the United States – partly because it was new and intriguing, but mostly because many people in Europe had difficulty earning a living. Steve Julian was also about 19 years of age when he left Messina, Sicily, and sailed to Boston. Messina was the headquarters for the Mafia, and a large portion (if not all) of the men were members. By the time Steve arrived in Boston, the Mafia was becoming well established. Boston was, and still is in part, divided into ethnic sections with the Italian section bumping up against the Irish section. Steve was a barber and apparently soon had no trouble obtaining a clientele – the Mafia brotherhood was very helpful.

Steve was attracted to fair-skinned, non-Italian women and soon met my Grandmother, Mary, who was Irish and had auburn hair. Mary was born in the United States, but her Mother and Father were immigrants from County Cork, Ireland, and lived in South Boston (Southie they called it).

Steve and Mary married (we haven’t yet identified a date) and had 6 children

• Grace
• George
• Paul
• Herbert
• Virginia
• Dorothy

Grace and Virginia lived just a few months each because they were allergic to milk. But by the time my Mother was born, doctors were using rice milk and saving babies.

George married Grace Hallerand but had no children. Paul married Mildred but had no children. Herbert married Irma Gamache but had no children. Interestingly, out of 6 children, the Julians had just one daughter who lived and who had 4 children.

Unfortunately, Steve Julian was an Italian Romeo. When my mother, Dorothy, was 8 years old she had gone off to school with the other kids. Her Mother was brewing a cup of tea over the gas flame of the stove. She wore a flannel robe, and as she bent over the stove, she had a seizure and her robe went up in flames. She ran thru the house screaming for help but the front door was locked so neighbors hearing her couldn’t get in. By the time the firemen arrived, she was badly burned and died that night in the hospital.

Steve already had a mistress in the apartment below whose name was Isabell Morrison or Belle. She was Scottish from Canada and lived with her mother and 3 of her sister’s children who she was raising (Marian, another girl, and a boy). The ages of his own children at the time were: Dorothy (8), Herbert (12), Paul (14), George (16). Apparently very soon after Mary’s death, Steve married Belle. His own children were grief-stricken still and appalled that we would do such a thing. They felt he cared more about Belle’s children than his own so all three of the boys joined the Army. Herbie was barely 13 but talked them into letting him sign up.

Because my mother was the youngest child in her family and the only surviving girl, she was very pampered by her Mother. Before she was old enuf to go to school, she would be dressed up and then allowed to sit outside on the porch, but never allowed to play with the other kids or to get dirty. Then after her Mother died, Dorthy was not only grief-stricken at losing her mother, but her Father paid little attention to his own children, instead lavished it on his new bride and the children she brought into his home.

As a result, my mother spent a great deal of time living with her Mother’s sister – Catherine or Kit as she was called. [Kit had been one of 3 girls in her family but one of her sisters died at approximately 21 years of age and Mary died in her early 40’s.]

Kit had her own problems typical of the Irish. She had married Arthur Marks who was a policeman in South Boston. He was on foot walking duty up and down in that area and in front of the stores – many of which sold liquor. Often the stores gave him a drink of liquor to thank him for watching their store. Apparently when Arthur got his paycheck, Kit often didn’t see any of the money because he spent it on liquor which impoverished the family. Mother said many times when Arthur came home drunk he attacked Kit and because her boys were several years younger than my mother, she helped Kit become free of him by hitting Arthur over the head with a frying pan.

My Mother quit school at the end of the 8th grade as so many did in those days. Having little in the way of skills, she went to work in a laundry working long hours for six days a week. But she was a dreamer. She had taken piano lessons just a couple of years and loved to play, and dreamed of becoming a concert pianist. As a young girl, she begged her father to pay for more piano lessons, but he refused. And she dreamed of being married to a successful businessman and of having a happy family who would be educated and admired; a family with enough money to not necessarily be rich but certainly not impoverished.

For the first 7 or so years of their married life, Dorothy and Frank were happy. Grandma Piccolo was still living and altho Frank and Danny were married and beginning to raise families, Grandma still gave her boys an allowance and she basically paid the bills. Grandma took Dorothy and Janice shopping to buy new outfits, and I think she even paid the rent. Not until she died did my father actually have responsibility for his family totally. Mother had gotten used to Grandma’s shopping and buying but my Father wasn’t a spender, and from that time forward in their married, money was an issue in every way. And I, being the eldest child and the one my Mother talked to and looked to for help, often found myself in the middle of their clashes. Unfortunately, they never learned to communicate. My Father worked long hours 6 days a week and 1/2 a day on Sundays so he wasn’t home all that much, but he was home he didn’t interact with the children very much at all, preferring to read magazines or watch television.

Some of it was the times, and some my father’s working hours and money issues, but we didn’t do very much as a family except perhaps taking a Sunday drive for an ice cream. But more often than not, as the years went by, my Mother stayed home if Dad took us.

When Grandma was alive, she rented a cottage in Maine in summer and/or winter at which all the family gathered for a fun week. That began years before my parents married and continued for about 4 years after they were married until Grandma because ill with cancel. Movie cameras were in vogue and we have a lot of 8 mm film of the family – especially Ange and May’s kids who were the oldest. In 2009 I transferred the 8mm film to DVDs and gave a copy to every family member.

My parents weren’t very tall, but that wasn’t unusual at that time and living in an Italian/American/Greek society. Mother was 5’3″ and so was my father, altho he looked shorter. I began at 5’1 1/2″ but have shrunk now to 5 ft. Grandmother Piccolo was about 4 ft. 10 in. as were Josephine, May & Ange. Danny was slightly taller than Frank, but I understand Cozzie was 5 ft. or under.

1937 – Beginnings of Janice Marie Piccolo

My life began Feb. 5 1937 – Just 1 year and 3 days after my parents married. My parents were happy to have a child but my mother was doubly thrilled to have a child and especially to have a girl reminiscent of her relationship with her mother. My mother didn’t want to experience the pain of childbearing so she asked the doctor to put her out which was done in those days. I can’t imagine how the doctor knew when to make the delivery! I weighed 6+ lbs. and was healthy, but my mother couldn’t imagine why I was so groggy for several months after to the point she had to snap my cheeks to get me to eat. Could it have possibly been all the anesthetic?

I’m told I was a happy and obedient child. My Mother liked telling the story about the porcelain elephants on the coffee table which I didn’t touch because I was told not to, that they would break.

I don’t remember I a lot about my childhood but a couple of things stand out. When I was in the first grade we had wood desks with iron pedestals screwed into the floor. One day I proudly went to school with a new dress and my hair curled in ringlets. We were playing some game going up and down the aisles, and as I came around the corner, a boy put his foot out and tripped me. I fell hitting my head against the iron causing a gash which bled all over my new clothes. The principal called my mother who took me to the doctor resulting in 3 stitches. I don’t remember it hurting. I do remember the blood and especially the 3 quarters he gave me – one for each stitch because I didn’t cry.

1940

My mother had always wanted a doll so for Christmas when I was about 3 years old she gave me a doll. I opened it and promptly threw it in the trash. That was the first of several like disappointments my mother had because her daughter was more sporty than frilly. (Unfortunately, my sister wasn’t frilly either!)

Also about the time I was 3 years old (maybe 4) my mother began giving me tap dancing lessons. Tap dancing was the rage then. I enjoyed it along with the costumes for dance recitals until I was 11. Meanwhile, my mother started me on piano lessons. Oh, how I wish now that I had continued taking them, but more than practicing piano, I wanted to be up the street playing tag football with the boys.

The street we played on was Pearl St. My Grandfather Julian lived there for some years but I didn’t see him very often. We lived on Palfrey St. (#98) which was a long steep hill and impossible to drive up when snow & ice covered it. Many a cold snowy winter night our faces were glued to the windows watching cars try to make it up the hill. They would back down, get a running start and sometimes make it, other times not, so they would park the car and trudge up on foot.

1947

As I moved up in elementary school, I seemed to get more nervous about whether I could do things, and I was aware of great expectations from teachers. For example, in the 5th grade, I had a teacher (Miss McDraoush) who often had me stay after school to finish an assignment. My friend, Bobbie, often did the same. The teacher never related her grumpiness so at the end of the school year when she asked Bobbie & me if we would like to go see Louisa May Alcott’s house with her and a friend (the teacher wasn’t married) I was astounded – and nervous as I could be. I couldn’t make the transition between grumpy and nice. They picked us up for the drive to Concord, and as we drove I got more nervous. When we arrived, I got as far as the house door, passed out, and threw up all over myself and everything else! So much for impressing the teacher! I went back to the car and slept while they went thru the Alcott home. I was very grateful I wouldn’t have to face her again as a teacher! Unfortunately, that habit of passing out & throwing up has continued all thru my life!

Two streets over from Palfrey St. was Marshall St. One day when I was 3 yrs. old I somehow got over to Marshall & met a red-haired girl my age with the name of Bobbi (Roberta Donahue). We became good friends until she married and I moved to Utah. A year or so later, I think in 1st grade, we became friends with Mary Porter who lived two streets past Bobbi in a lovely house my mother coveted. Bobbi, Mary, and I did a lot of fun things as we grew, altho because I was Catholic & they were Baptist & Methodist, they had more things in common. Bobbi was an only child who lived with her Italian grandmother and mother. Her Dad, divorced from her mother, was Irish but didn’t see Bobbi very often. Mary had 3 older brothers and the Porters had a summer cottage with horses about an hour’s drive away which I was invited to several times. I loved horses, and the three of us would dream of owning a horse husbandry when we grew up.

Speaking of horses, when I was growing up during the 2nd World War, my Uncle Herbie and Irma took care of General Patton’s horses. I remember when Ray was born (1941) and again when Karen was (1945), we stayed with Herbie & Irma and got to ride in sleighs and on the horse with Herbie. I also remember shoveling manure from the horses’ barns! Maybe that’s where I got the idea of owning my own horses!

My mother learned to cook Italian food from Grandma Piccolo. My Grandmother had cooked Italian style; ie, a small pasta dish, salad, bread and roast with potatoes, vegetables and a dessert. So that’s what my father expected. But as the years went by, the meager amount of food allowance my mother received didn’t allow her to buy all that food. My father couldn’t understand which is amazing since he ran a store and experienced rises in food costs. One more impossible communication gap between my parents! But the food was delicious! In the traditional Italian family way, my father didn’t help in the kitchen – not even to move his plate from the table to the sink. Meanwhile the times and traditions were beginning to change after WWII, and those stuck in the old time warp weren’t meshing very well with those changing to the new.

Because things at home weren’t always pleasant – especially when my father was there – I played outside as much as I could. In the early years, Piccolo relatives used to come to our house quite often to have dinner or play poker or cribbage. I think I was about 10 years old when my father said he and his siblings had bought a summer beach house for the Piccolos to share. He hadn’t said anything to my mother but he had saved $10,000 to pay for his share – all the while telling her he didn’t have any money. He probably thought she would like it, but it definitely caused a huge meltdown between them. The beach house in No. Scituate was no cottage; it was a large home in No. Scituate with expensive carpet on the floors and velvet furniture. It had a large yard and a wrap-around screened porch. The beach was a good 1/2 mile away. On weekends the greater Piccolo family came down so the women were cooking meals for 25-30 people – not my mother’s idea of rest & relaxation!

The ocean water in the north part of Cape Code is very cold except to the natives who are used to it. I used to jump into the ocean without a problem and wonder what was wrong with the adults! The beach sand was white, and my feet became so tough and used to the hot sand that I enjoyed it. But most of my cousins were quite a bit older – the guys had been in the war and came home to get married. Anita was the youngest cousin, and she was 6 years older than me. At that stage of my life, she seemed very old!

1953

While I was in high school I really enjoyed sports. Even tho I was short, I played guard position on the basketball team and was pretty good at it. I also played some tennis and a little field hockey. But when I turned 16 I had to work at Piccolos. I worked every day after school and weekends so I didn’t have much free time beyond school. Three memorable incidents –

#1 First day – Auntie Ange had left the kitchen to go home & cook her family’s dinner. An older lady sat up at the soda fountain, and when I asked what she would like, she said, ” I want a fried egg, & I don’t want it petrified!” I was scared spitless; it was my first time cooking anything. But I had no choice. My father was busy at the pharmacy. So I cooked it and held my breath when she began to speak – but she said it was just right! Whew!

#2 The year we were hit with a BIG hurricane – 1953? The wind blew hard, the lights went out, the rain was furious and people were blown across the Charles River bridge into the store. We stood at the door and pulled it open just in time, and then it took two of us to close the door again. Hours went by and still, the hurricane winds raged. All the fire and police were out needing coffee and sandwiches. We made them as fast as we could and gave them free to anyone in need. When the storm finally began to subside, it was about 10 pm. There was an eery glow in the sky and dead silence all around with broken tree limbs everywhere as I walked the 3/4 miles home. I was grateful that our home on Marion Rd. was safe.

#3 On another day my Dad and I were alone but this time he was in the kitchen. A man came in the far door near the pharmacy so, assuming he wanted to pick up a prescription, I went over and asked if I could help. He didn’t say anything, looked around, then asked where the pharmacist was. I told him he was in the kitchen. Finally the man very quietly asked for prophylactics. I had no idea what that was, so I walked across the room, held open the kitchen door, and yelled, ” where do you keep prophylactics?” My father turned beet red shushing me, and I turned around just in time to see the man run out of the store. It was days later when a friend told me what they were used for.

I love ice cream so working at Piccolo’s was great because whenever I had a break I could choose to eat whatever I wanted, and I always chose ice cream. Also, I got to know some of my relatives better because they too worked there – Ange and Eddie, Kay (Cozzie’s widow), Josephine, and Danny. But it was difficult from the standpoint that I was working a lot of hours and then had to go home and do homework, and it was a 7-day workweek. So no time for socialization really. I remember being paid 68c an hour, and from that money I had to pay room and board at home – I don’t remember how much. Josephine was a difficult boss; who tended to see the negative rather than the positive. Whereas my Dad was generally grumpy at home, he was always pleasant to customers. In fact, sometimes I watched him give a free candy bar to children of customers, but I felt he rebuffed me if I asked for anything. So working at Piccolo’s was somewhat bitter/sweet for me.

While working at Piccolo’s on Sunday for three years, I went to Mass with my father before opening the store. In those days the Mass was in Latin but the sermon was in English. On the way from the church to the store, I asked Dad questions about what the priest said but I soon learned he didn’t listen. I was surprised because he was always adamant about attending church and being a good Catholic. Interestingly, my mother never went to church but always said it was the right thing to do.

1954

I wanted to be a good Catholic and to feel more spiritual so in my senior year in high school, I decided to put things to the test. I had just turned 17 in Feb. and Lent began in March. The church encouraged us to sacrifice something over those 40 days. I decided to give up smoking which was difficult because I had smoked for 2+ years, both my parents smoked, and most of my friends. In addition, I decided to do all the church things available during the Lent season. I went to Mass every morning before school, and I walked to 7 churches the last week which was no small task even in a Catholic town – from East Watertown to the West. I wanted a spiritual affirmation but I didn’t get one for all my praying. That combined with my blazen experience with my father left me wondering what the use was of going to Mass.

The year after I graduated from high school I signed up to go to business school. Katharine Gibbs was a well-known and well-respected school and I could do two years of school in one year. Why didn’t I go to college? Well, I didn’t think I was smart enough, and I didn’t have the money to go. My mother thought my father would help, but he didn’t say that. Besides with all the rangling at home about money, I wanted to make myself independent as soon as I could. I regret it now of course but . . .

I graduated from high school in 1954 (I had turned 17 in February and graduated in June) and then went to Gibbs in September. The school was in downtown Boston so I took the streetcar to Harvard Square and then the subway downtown. The school required us to wear a hat, white gloves, and heels – and of course a shirt and jacket or suit. That’s the dress most businesses would require in those days so we were being properly trained. But most of the time there was standing room only on the train and streetcar, so carrying an armful of books and standing while trying to hold onto a subway strap was no small feat! Still, Gibbs was considered one of the best schools for business training.

1955

When I finished school in June I got a job at a large General Electric plant in Brighton, MA. The man for whom I worked and I were housed in the same cubicle – he smoking a cigar and me a cigarette (Lucky Strike no less!). They provided a cafeteria for break food and lunch as there was no time to leave the building and in those days there were no fast food places nearby. There were 200-300 employees so Personnel assigned each of us one time to go and with what group of people. I was assigned a table with 5 other women one of whom was Sylvia Mugica. Conversation started by each of us introducing ourselves. Everyone else was Catholic; Sylvia said she was a Mormon. It was obvious as each one introduced themselves that some of what they said was in jest so I assumed Sylvia was doing that. Of all the people there, I liked her the most and since she was single too, I hoped to become her friend. Well, the kidding went on a couple more days until someone took me aside and said I ought to know she really was a Mormon. I was stunned; she seemed so nice! What did I know about Mormons? Not much. Only that our history book had mentioned that they embraced polygamy and drove in wagons from New York to Utah.

Still, more than ever, I was intrigued by the seeming oxymoron of her being nice, fun – and a Mormon! So I worked at becoming more acquainted. I didn’t yet have a car. One Sunday in November my father asked me why I wasn’t going to Mass. I said I didn’t believe in Catholicism and was old enough to choose. An argument ensued. I called Sylvia Sunday afternoon to see if she would go for a ride in her car and talk. She picked me up about 2 pm and we talked for several hours. By 6 pm she said she was sorry but she needed to go to church; that they had a meeting in the morning and also one in the evening. Strange! No other church did such a thing! She invited me to go, and I didn’t want to go home, so I did. Comparing the service with a Catholic Mass was weird – the service was like nothing else I had seen. Who was the priest/minister? The sacrament was brought to everyone rather than those worthy going to the altar – and there wasn’t an altar! The music wasn’t at all familiar but when they sang “I Stand All Amazed…” I was amazed to find tears rolling down my cheeks because of the message.

The next week was Fast Sunday so I had to see what that was about. During the service, I noticed men often taking babies out rather than women. And women bore testimonies as well as men – speaking in English and in a way that touched me even tho I didn’t understand their beliefs. The next week I went to Sunday School where they taught out of the Bible – the King James version. Growing up I had learned out of a catechism all or nothing kind of approach. I don’t remember our family having a Bible (it would be a Douay version) and I certainly didn’t have one, but everyone in the class had a Bible and seemed to understand it – at least a lot of it. I was intrigued by the simplicity of the teacher’s explanation (Quinn McKay) and the knowledge of those in the class. I had no intention of changing religions, but I was learning some things and wanted to continue for a while so I stayed at Sylvia’s house every Saturday night for 6 months.

Finally, my mother said she wanted me to be home for Sunday dinner so I had to tell her what I was doing. She was very concerned, but I said (and I meant it) that she needn’t worry; I would stay Catholic. She was also worried about my father’s reaction if he learned what I was doing that he would not let me live at home any longer. So Sunday mornings I carefully and quietly got ready to go with Sylvia and had her pick me up just after Dad left for Mass.

I should pause to mention that when I first went to church with Sylvia in November 1955, they were meeting in Harvard’s Divinity School chapel because they had no church. But they were in the process of having one built just a couple of blocks west of Harvard Square in Longfellow Park as the building came closer to completion, Sylvia mentioned that their prophet was coming to dedicate. That term didn’t mean anything to me; I only knew about Popes and Archbishops. The next year a building was dedicated by Pres. David O. McKay. I remember being surprised that he wore only a suit; no robes, etc. He and his wife shook hands with everyone in attendance, and I remember having a special feeling when it was my turn.

Note – Sadly in May 2009 the Cambridge Ward building house in Longfellow Park burned completely inside and will have to be rebuilt. It apparently started in the attic. It was the 1st LDS building in New England.

A new mission office was attached to the newly built Church building. One day Sylvia had to pick something up there and took me along. A tall, thin missionary, seeing us arrive, almost leaped over desks to greet us (George Pingree). I gather he hadn’t seen me before and knew I was a potential contact. He asked if I was a member (no) and if I would be interested in having missionaries (no). In those years the New England Mission consisted of most of the New England states, and converts were relatively few. I continued attending meetings with Sylvia for some time. I was intrigued by all I was learning from the Gospel Essentials class. Some of my questions were being answered, but many times the discussion only brought up more questions.

At the end of Church meetings on Sunday, everyone seemed to gather in the foyer greeting each other. I stood against a wall intrigued by people constantly shaking hands and exchanging pedigrees often by saying such things as – we’re related! or I went to school with him/her; or it’s so good to see you after such a long time, etc. So many had a kind of friendship with one another, and it went on every Sunday as different people visited the area. Those who were converts, of course, weren’t part of it, and Sylvia often felt at a disadvantage because of it. She had hoped to date and perhaps marry someone of her faith, but the single men from Utah seemed intent on marrying someone from home. Most of those men later because stalwarts in the Church in Utah – Truman Madsen, Steve Covey, Hal Eyring, Rod Brady, Quinn McKay – to name a few.

1956

Elizabeth and John Hinckley were also long-time members of the branch. They and a few other couples who were born into the Church had watched the branch grow over the years from just a few of them to finally having enough members to warrant a chapel being built. Sister Hinckley, who had a strong testimony and a strong personality, sort of tried to take me under her wing. I remember as Christmas 1956 came near, she invited me to come to their home one evening to listen to “The Messiah.” She almost commanded me to come, and since they lived close by in Belmont, I drove over there. I was expecting to visit, but as soon as she opened the door, she told me not to say a word because the recording had already begun. I was amazed at how long it went on with nay a word spoken to me or anyone else.

In the fall of 1956, others came to go to school – Richard and Claudia Bushman, Barnard Silver, Cherry Bushman, Lila Allen, etc. A singles group formed, and we were involved in Saturday activities often and Christmas caroling, etc. This too introduced me to the new way of socializing and the many activities people were involved in – none of which took place in the Catholic church.

1957

I had now been attending Church for over a year. By January 1957, Bonnie Raby was a sister missionary working in the mission office. I had become a little acquainted with her, and she begged me to let her give me missionary lessons – just to let her practice. I said my parents wouldn’t let her come there, but she said we could do it in the mission office. I said I didn’t have a car, and Sylvia said she would drive me. So… I finally said okay with the condition that she wouldn’t ask me to pray. We began lessons weekly but I was as uncooperative as I could be. About the 4th week, Bonnie didn’t meet with us – the Elders did. I was miffed! I asked over and over why she wasn’t there and really didn’t get a satisfactory answer. On top of that, the Elders really pressed hard with questions. I finally said I was no longer interested. They backed off and said Bonnie would be back the next week. But I didn’t like what had taken place and wasn’t sure I wanted to continue any part of it. As I recall, a couple of weeks went by; then Bonnie called to apologize, and the lessons resumed for a while. I remember that she asked me if I would read the Book of Mormon. I said I didn’t have one. She offered me a paperback copy. As another ploy to buy time, I said I wanted one like they had – a triple combination with a zippered cover. She said, despairingly, they would have to send to SLC for one like that and it would take several weeks to get it. Fine with me! I was in no hurry and wasn’t really sure what I would do when the book arrived.

I remember one Sunday in early 1957 Sylvia called to say she wasn’t going to Church and therefore couldn’t pick me up. I realized it was a test of sorts as to whether I cared about Church enough to go on my own or not. And it would mean taking the streetcar to get there. I finally decided to try it out and see how I would feel without Sylvia as my “crutch.” I think others were surprised to see me along, but they were friendly, and I felt comfortable. Hmm… what was happening here?

Meanwhile, at work things were becoming dicey for me but not for Sylvia. They had only known her as a Mormon, but I was a Catholic investigating another church. People were beginning to turn away or sit at other tables.

The triple combination arrived, and I had to make a decision. I had said I would read it, and they had gone to a lot of trouble (and expense I later learned) to get it. Was my word any good? Still, I had family to consider, and I knew they would be furious. To that point, I really hadn’t thought seriously about becoming a Mormon. I couldn’t imagine doing that. How could I go against my family – generations of them were were Catholic? What would becoming a Mormon do to my parents? There was no way I could do it. But I had promised to read the Book of Mormon so I would fulfill my part of the bargain. Where/how would I read it? Couldn’t be at work on my lunch hour; couldn’t read it at home or even in my bedroom because my mother often opened the door if she saw a light on. I finally decided to read the Book of Mormon under the covers with a flashlight. That way no light would be on and Mother would think I was asleep.

I began reading from the front page like a story. I never particularly enjoy reading historical things but I must admit to being somewhat intrigued as to why all these Mormons read the book over and over. I don’t remember how long it took to get to Alma 32 – perhaps 1/3 of the way into the book. Most of the people I had been interacting with were bright, knowledgeable, Ph.D. types who had served missions. I had thought all along that I wasn’t anything like them so I could never be a Mormon. But here was Alma saying: “Awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment on my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea even if ye can no more than a desire to believe, let this desire work in you…” That really spoke to me, and I felt something powerful and warm inside. I knew the Book of Mormon was the word of God, and I knew I had to go downstairs and tell my mother. [It was midnight but she typically didn’t go to bed until 1:00 AM.] But what would I say? I don’t remember the words but I said something like I hadn’t planned at all to have this happen but I knew I had to check it out; that the Mormon religion gave me more answers and made more sense than Catholicism. Mother was of course upset and made me promise I would talk to Father Corozza (a parish priest and family friend) before I did anything. She reminded me that once you were a Catholic, you should always be a Catholic. I promised I would do that.

For several weeks I thought about visiting Father Corozza – what would I say? What would he say? There were a couple of questions I especially wanted him to help me understand. #1 – For years Catholics were not allowed to eat meat on Fridays – it was a mortal sin. The Mormons said that came about not because it came from God but because hundreds of years ago Italian fishermen complained to the Pope that no one was eating fish and they couldn’t make a living. I was shocked and wanted to know if it was true because our family had faithfully kept that commandment even tho it was hard to do like the day after Thanksgiving. #2 – Mormons taught that baptism by immersion was essential and was to be done at age 8. Catholics sprinkled water on relatively newborn babies and taught that if a child died before receiving that ordinance, it would go to Purgatory rather than Heaven. #3 – 2nd Timothy in the New Testament says “in the last days men will be seduced by evil spirits, forbidden to many . . .” The Mormons said that the Apostle Paul was prophesying about Catholic priests and nuns in our day. I wanted to ask about it.

Finally, I got up the courage to visit Father Corozza. I had dressed in Sunday clothes to be appropriate. I rang the doorbell of the rectory and asked to see him. At first, I didn’t tell him my name because he knew my father well. He invited me to have a seat in a room not far from the door, and he sat in a chair across the room. What should I say? I began by asking why Catholics no longer baptized by immersion. He gave a lengthy explanation about how they used to, but over the years as Catholics grew to such large numbers it became impractical. We talked for about 3/4 of an hour before I got to the question from 2nd Timothy. Then I realized I hadn’t brought my bible. So I asked if he had a bible because I needed help with a scripture. He didn’t have one there but said he’d get one. He went upstairs and I heard him say he was visiting with a confused soul. While he was gone, I realized his bible would be the Douay version whereas Mormons used the King James. Perhaps this scripture wasn’t the same in both. After what seemed like a long time he came downstairs and handed me the bible. I opened it to 2nd Timothy and the wording was the same. I read the scripture asking for an explanation. He stood up so I did and, standing behind me, asked me to read it again, which I did. Then he reached over me, took the book, and read it again himself, said he had never seen that scripture before. For a couple of minutes he seemed stunned, but then gained his composure, patted me on the had, and said something like – you just keep going to Mass and everything will be okay. As I walked to my car, I was amazed I had done it, and even more amazed that I received another affirmation that the gospel the Mormons taught was the correct one. How could all those thousands of priests and nuns be wrong? Would I really be able to leave Catholicism and become a Mormon? Perhaps I could just keep things the way they were and not upset anyone. That was late Spring, 1957.

There was a couple in the Branch, among many others, who encouraged me – Ed and Helen Usevitch – Helen had been born in the Church in Alberta, Canada. Ed was raised Polish Catholic in the Boston area. He particularly often said if he could be baptized so could I. They invited Sylvia and me to go with them to the Palmyra Pageant in July, 1957. As time went on and I progressed in learning about the gospel, I would think I had been told about everything, and then something new would jolt me. A couple of months before going to the Pageant I had heard about Patriarchal blessings – what was this? Fortune telling? I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Then at the motel en route to Palmyra, Helen came into our room with strange-looking underwear on. What on earth was that? I had heard quite a lot about temples and what took place there, but no one said anything about garments! Sylvia hadn’t seen any either, but she of course knew about them. I was stunned, and after the patriarchal blessing thing began to seriously rethink joining the Church. I was glad I had waited and not committed to anything so I could change my mind when the strange things about Mormons surfaced.

The next day we arrived in Palmyra. Lots of people in that little NY town – those participating in the pageant, those visiting, and lots of eager missionaries. So many people knew each other. I never ceased to be amazed that such a small church from Utah could have so many people know each other in places like Palmyra, NY and Cambridge, MA. At last, it was time for the pageant I had heard so much about to start. They had to wait until dusk – about 9 pm. It told the story of the Book of Mormon and especially the coming of Jesus Christ to the Nephites after his resurrection . Everything was pitch black after the thunderings and lightenings when suddenly, at the top of the Cumorah hill, the Savior appeared in a bright light. It was stunning, and once again I felt a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. On the way home I said out loud for the first time that I knew I had to be baptized.

But I wanted to still have time to mull over what would be a huge step and change my life dramatically. Obviously, my family and relatives would disapprove and there was a good possibility that my father would ask me to leave home. Where would I go? Most of my friends were Catholic and they would react. Bobbie and May weren’t Catholic, but by then they were both married so we didn’t see much of each other. Sylvia still lived at home, but there was no room there. I was working so I could consider renting a room or apartment, but could I continue working there when so many Catholics were disapproving? All in all, it would definitely be to my advantage to just forget the whole thing. But how could I when I had prayed to know if the gospel was true, and I knew I had received a witness that it was? Of course, many people in Church asked when I would be baptized. Finally, in September 1957 I made an appointment with the Branch President, Wilbur Cox. He asked how my family would feel and suggested I wait until my 21st birthday the next February so I would be legally 21 years of age and basically could do what I wanted. Feb. 5th was a Wed. in 1958, but he felt my baptism was a special occasion after so long that they could fill the font on a day other than a Saturday.

In the meantime over the past year or so my mother had met several Mormons and enjoyed having them to dinner or just meeting them as they came to the house. Of course, she knew Sylvia and liked her a lot. She had also met Lila Allen and Cherie Bushman, and Lee Gifford who was in the Navy came to dinner a couple of times to taste authentic Italian food. So altho Mother didn’t know anything of Mormon beliefs, she liked the people. Interestingly, Mother never went to Mass, but she felt strongly “once a Catholic; always a Catholic.” She had also met a couple of sister missionaries during the summer – not to be taught the gospel, but because their landlord wouldn’t let them take showers more than once a week tho they walked miles a day in the hot, humid weather, so Mother agreed to let them shower at our house. The missionaries, whose names I remember, who lived fairly close by in Belmont were: Donna Lee Turley, Loydece Strong, Joyce Metcalf from Grantsville, and Carolyn Skeen from Ogden.

Note: I remember not liking the term “sister” for the female missionaries because it reminded me of nuns. I wanted to call them by their first names, but they wouldn’t even tell me what their names were.

1958

The 1957 year ended and a new year began. I was very nervous as my birthday got closer and closer. A 21st birthday was special, and my mother prepared a great dinner and invited Sylvia. I think my father was working and not there for dinner. I hadn’t yet said anything about leaving soon after dinner and knew Mother would expect me to be home awhile. After dinner Mother gave me a gift – a lovely amethyst ring (my birthstone) with three phony diamonds on each side. She apologized for those saying she couldn’t yet afford them. I couldn’t imagine she could afford the ring and didn’t want her to be in debt because of me. But Mother was always generous and wanted us to have things she didn’t have – yet it caused conflict between her and my father.

I was really in a pickle – Mother had fixed a lovely dinner, purchased a lovely, expensive ring, and now I was not only saying I had to leave but when she asked why I told her I was being baptized! Talk about feeling I had betrayed my mother! Naturally, she was upset, but she said if I insisted, she was going to be there. So with me feeling a lot of fear and trepidation on several counts, we all got into Sylvia’s car and headed for Cambridge. [I should mention that this was the only Church-owned building in the greater area so they built it with a font.]

When we arrived at the Church, there was already a good-sized crowd in the Relief Society room. I really didn’t know the procedure but Sylvia helped me dress, etc. I can’t remember who we turned my mother over to while I got dressed, but I remember telling the person my mother was a heavy smoker and would need to go outside often. I thought they would just baptize me, but they had a little service beforehand – opening hymn, prayer, and talk on baptism. Then it was time. I almost wanted to call it off, but I went down into the front. As I looked up I saw my mother standing there with a disapproving look I’ll never forget. Then I went down into the water. I think Bill Bradshaw baptized me. Everyone asked if I felt clean and were excited – but I could only remember Mother’s look. Still, today as I write this it haunts me. I was always an obedient child until then.

After I dried off and changed clothes, I was confirmed, we had a closing hymn and prayer – and then they surprised me by throwing open the cultural hall doors where they had prepared a 21st birthday celebration complete with music for dancing and food including a birthday cake. It was very nice of them, and bitter-sweet for me. Mother loved music and dancing so she was trying to be happy, but I knew she was sorrowing inside. We didn’t tell my father, and to this day I don’t know how or when he found out.

February to June was difficult. I felt like I was trying to live two lives, and I knew it couldn’t continue. For sure my family wasn’t going to change, but what was I to do? Sylvia and I talked about it endlessly but her home situation was different, and she didn’t have to think about leaving. I prayed a lot and kept getting an impression to go where all the Mormons were – to SLC. Just leave everyone and everything and go so far away? It helped that I was 21 and had a 1949 Plymouth Coupe with horsehair upholstery. Altho I hadn’t yet really ventured out on my own, at that age I had more of an “I can do it” spirit. I talked to President Cox about it and he was worried, telling me all Mormons weren’t active – especially in SLC, it was a 4 1/2 day drive going 12 hours a day, a job might be difficult to find, etc. etc. His counsel surprised me but after thinking and praying about it, I saw no other solution. I learned that one of the sister missionaries (Carolyn Skeen) was going home in late July and since she was willing to drive with me, President Cox and she sent a letter to Church Headquarters asking permission. Wow! If I was really supposed to go West, this could be the way! Lo and behold, permission came!

Now I had to prepare to leave in a month – quit my job, pack whatever my car would hold, etc. My mother of course was chest-fallen, but I told everyone that it was an adventure; my time to see more of the world and see what happened. I said I might go from SLC to California. And I didn’t’ have to drive across country alone which made her feel better. It made me feel better too. I knew Carolyn less than any of the other missionaries, but it was kind of her to help me out and take a week longer to arrive home.

So off we went on July 27, 1958 – a Monday I think. While I drove, Carolyn was always busy reading, writing notes, crocheting – always busy. I was kind of annoyed and asked if she had to be productive every minute of the day and night. She said that’s what the Lord expected. What did I get myself into? Of course, we also talked a lot along the way and commented lots on the changing scenery as I began to see places outside New England. More and more I was learning how different Mormons thought and did things.

We arrived in Ogden, Utah on Friday, August 1, 1958. Carolyn’s family, consisted of a mother, brother, and sister. She was the oldest; her father had passed away a number of years before. Carolyn of course was greeted effusively having been gone 18 months. But I wasn’t used to effusiveness and when Thelma Skeen wrapped her arms around me, I stood stiff as a board. My parents didn’t hug or express loving thoughts, so this experience was really different! I spent the weekend there awed by the mountains and the vastly different ways of doing and saying things. But I was anxious to get to SLC even tho I didn’t know where it was from Ogden, what I would do when I got there, where I’d sleep/live, or where I’d find a job.

After church and dinner Sunday, I left for SLC. I drove south on Harrison Blvd (even tho I still couldn’t figure out East from West or North from South). But when I got to the end of Harrison, I didn’t know if I turned right or left. I sat there deliberating, and finally turned right, but after a little ways I didn’t see SLC signs so I turned around. I think I got off at the first sign that said SLC, but I couldn’t find the temple I had heard so much about. Somehow I had the impression it was on a hill and could be seen a long way off. I kept driving and looking. No stores were open; there were lots of small houses; no people to be seen. Finally I saw a little Mom/Pop store and went in to ask where the Temple was. He had difficulty understanding my accent, and I didn’t understand his east/west/north/south directions. Somehow I got closer to Temple Square, and when I saw someone walking along, he was able to direct me. I parked the car and wandered into the Visitor’s Center. That had been my goal for the day and as the afternoon got later, I began to realize I had no place to go after Temple Square; no place to sleep. As I walked into the Visitor’s Center, Truman Madsen was standing there. He was a guide. What a blessing! He asked where I was staying, and I told him my story so he suggested we call Bonnie Raby, who had been a New England missionary at least a year before. She was gracious about taking me in for a couple of days and lived with her parents in a very small house not far from Temple Square.

So I stayed with the Raby’s for a couple of nights, but I wanted to be free to fly – heaven only knows where to – and Bonnie wanted me to stay indefinitely. I called Cherie Bushman and Lila Allen to see if they knew a place to stay or someone who needed a roommate. They didn’t but said they would check around. They were staying at the Bushman home on the East bench. I went to a motel downtown for a couple of days and Cherie called to say I could stay with them a few days. I was trying to acclimate myself to so many unfamiliar things – dry climate, small city; different expressions, Mormonism after generations, highly educated people with pedigrees who sometimes looked down on converts, etc. After several meals at the Bushman home it became obvious that I wasn’t wanted there. Mrs. Bushman asked many times when I would leave, and became almost distraught about it at the end of the week. She likely thought I would become a permanent fixture, so I packed up and moved to a motel for 2+ weeks until I could find some place to stay. Finally I learned of a basement apartment on Princeton Ave. where two other girls lived. And the next week I finally got a job. (Many years later I learned the basement was the home of Robert L. Backman.)

My roommates were Noma Bowman (my first intro to made up Mormon names) from Ogden, Utah. She taught school and went home to Ogden every weekend. Carolyn Bennett also taught school and was raised on a farm in Winder, Idaho. She was the first really moody person I knew. All of a sudden she wouldn’t speak for two days and I’d have no idea at all what the problem was. Very hard on someone like me who knew no one else. The ward we were in (which I often went to alone) was a well-established, affluent ward and not really interested in fellowshipping this convert. It was a difficult time . . .

I had gotten a job downtown at the Utah State Park and Recreation Commission but the salary was peanuts compared to what I was paid in Boston. The main boss was Harold Gabian – a wealthy, elderly gentleman who worked without salary. I mention him to tell a story. He was pretty sober – sometimes dictated letters to me in his office and sometimes on a tape. One morning I was translating a letter from a tape. I kept hearing the word “crick” but it didn’t fit the sentence at all. I listened over and over; finally decided to write “crick” as dictated and put the letter on his desk. An hour or so later I heard him laughing uproarishly and he called me to come in. It was the “crick” word! He meant “creek” but that wasn’t what he said! The only crick I knew was in the neck.

With Fall came also holidays – Thanksgiving and Christmas – and my first time away from home. So many things were new, and I knew so few people that it was going to be tough to be alone. Around the middle of Nov. I was talking to a colleague about it, and he suggested I fly home for Christmas and surprise every one. Only problem was I had no money. He suggested taking a loan. I wouldn’t have thought of or done such a thing, but the more I thought of it and surprising the family – not to mention escaping being alone for the holidays – the better it sounded. I got the loan, bought a ticket, and asked Sylvia to pick me up at the airport and take me home, ring the doorbell and surprise everyone – a great Christmas!

I would just have to weather Thanksgiving by thinking of Christmas. Noma had gone home of course, and Carolyn’s folks drove down from Idaho to pick her up. She was in one of her moody days. I made small talk with the family and they left. I kind of thought they might invite me, but they didn’t say anything. I felt really lonely in that basement apartment. A few minutes later I burst into tears feeling very alone and sorry for myself. I remember being in the bedroom crying and praying for some kind of help. I had been there 30 minutes when the Bennetts came back and asked me to go with them. Actually it was Carolyn’s father, not so much Carolyn. I surely felt Heavenly Father had heard my prayer and that Floyd Bennett was in tune. I of course had never been on a farm – never ridden in a pickup truck.

At 5:30 am the night morning Floyd woke me up saying if I wanted to learn about farming I had to get going early! I was amazed that a huge breakfast was already brewing with steak and eggs, fried potatoes and all kinds of things. Floyd took me out to one of the barns and began sharpening a large knife which he said was to cut off the calves’ tails. He hand me the sharpened knife and instructed me how to do it. After lots of chiding me to get to it, I picked up the knife and started to move toward one of the calves. But just before I used knife, he stopped me and showed me the round band they put on the tail (rather than cutting it) which eventually caused the tailed to fall off! Carolyn’s parents were wonderful to me, and when Carolyn went on a mission the next spring, I often visited them.

Another blessing for me was Carolyn leaving on that Spanish-speaking mission in Texas. She was going by train from SLC so I went to see her off along with her family. I had heard lots of about Carolyn’s Aunt Bertie (for a long time I thought they were saying “Birdie”) and met her there. She lived in Midvale and I was moving to Murray. She and John said they would be my family, and for many years they were, bless their hearts! Years later, after I stopped working in Primary and John and passed away, I was able to help her a little by visiting often. Bertie was a great soul, and Heavenly Father rewarded her for her goodness by taking her home quickly and without pain. I was in Turkey at the time and she was healthy when I left. I was happy she was with John but I couldn’t be at the funeral.

1959

In the late summer of 1959, I received a call from the secretary representing the President of LDS Business College asking if I would visit him. I barely knew that school existed and certainly didn’t know the president, but I went. To my astonishment, he knew all about me and that I had graduated from Katharine Gibbs in Boston, etc. Pres. Wilkinson, President of BYU in Provo, was getting a new assistant who needed a good secretary and would I be interested? Amazing! I knew a very little about BYU, nothing about Provo, but I did know a couple of former N.E. missionaries living there and thought they’d help me find a place to live. So beginning the first week in Sept. 1959, I moved to Provo. Loydece Strong and Donna Tyler help me find a house for rent and 5 roommates. These were the old days when there were double beds in the room and you slept side by side with someone you had never before met!

John Bernard was the president’s assistant, and I was once again in strange surroundings. The terminology was so different from what I knew – both college and Church terms – that I felt like I was in a foreign land. Dr. Bernhard was patient, but after a couple of months I suggested he get someone else. Because he was also a convert, he had empathy and suggested we give it another month, and by then things were much better. In fact I worked at BYU for 10 years.

1960

About the first year I lived on Cedar Ave. I dated Chuck Abercrombie who was also a convert. On the 3rd or 4th date, a Sunday afternoon, he took me for a drive. We drove and drove ending up in Price, Utah. He stopped there and proposed marriage. I was very surprised and not at all ready to do that. The ride back seemed even longer. I almost felt like I had done something wrong by refusing him so my roommates encouraged me to talk to the bishop (Joseph Simmes?) That made me feel worse because the bishop said I should marry Chuck and learn to love him because he would take me to the temple. I was astounded at that counsel!

1961

1962

1963

While still living on Cedar Ave. I met Blaine Seamons – a student at BYU. We dated for 2 1/2 years and went to a lot of dances. We had a good time together, but when he proposed I couldn’t accept; I felt he wasn’t a strong enough personality for me and remember telling him if there was a mud puddle he’d lay down in it and let me walk over him.

During the last year I dated Blaine my friends Ranelle and Marietta introduced me to Arlin Kuhni. We triple dated quite a bit the last couple of months of the year. That Christmas I went home for the holidays and was shocked to get a phone call a couple of days after Christmas from Arlin saying he was in Boston! He had taken it upon himself to meet my family and see where I lived. We flew back to SLC on the same plane.

While in Hawaii in the service, Arlin had bought a lovely black pearl ring to give some day to the person he would marry. On my birthday he gave me that ring. I didn’t want to take it; I wasn’t ready for a commitment, and we talked a long time about that. I was still dating Blaine as well. I liked both men for different reasons but didn’t feel I was in love. I prayed and pleaded about it many, many times without an answer. At least I thought Arlin understood my feeling after we talked. Just nine days later, however, on Valentine’s Day, he proposed with a diamond ring. I couldn’t believe it after all the talking we had done! Rachelle and Marietta were also proposed to, but they were thrilled and began making plans for marriage. I felt bad that I didn’t feel the same way. Arlin wanted me to wear the ring for a while to see if I’d get used to it, but people would naturally think I was getting married, and I didn’t want to have to explain. Oh dear; he was crushed! I continued to pray as fervently as I knew how as to whether I should marry either one of them, but I never got a warm, fuzzy answer. So a couple of months later, as the school year came to an end and Blaine was graduating, I severed ties with both men. It was very hard. Blaine was sad but understood, Arlin was angry, and when I gave him back the black pearl ring, he threw it in the glove compartment and said he’d never give it to anyone else. I’ve wondered if his wife has enjoyed the ring.

A couple of my roommates while living on Cedar Ave. were from Canada. After a couple of years and graduation, Arlene Champion had gone home to be married. While at school, Vivien had been dating Sterling, also from Canada, so he had been at the house quite a bit. But with the beginning of summer everyone went home and new people moved in. One Saturday in November I answered the doorbell and Sterling was there. By that time of year he was finished ranching and usually came back to school until Spring. He asked me to go to dinner after which we drove around a little in his pickup truck and chatted. When he parked in front of the house again, he said he had something to ask me – and he proposed marriage! Talk about a surprise out of the blue! I hardly knew him and we couldn’t have been more worlds apart with me a city girl and him from a ranching town where the cows outnumbered the people 3-1. And what about Vivien? Sterling said he didn’t love Vivien; he thought he could love me, and he wasn’t going to live alone on the ranch any more. Well, I thanked him for thinking of me, but I didn’t think I could live that lifestyle – not to mention that I wasn’t in love with him! When he was satisfied that I was serious, he asked if I knew where Barbara lived – another roommate who had moved back to San Francisco. I happened to have her phone number. He called; found her home, and drove out to see her.

Two weeks later I received a wedding announcement. Amazing! I believe it was January of the next year when I moved from Cedar Ave. to Briar Ave. – just of couple of streets away – because the Cedar house was being sold. Once again I didn’t know the people I would live with, but they became good friends. All three of the other women (Sue Roan, Maureen Derick, Mae Blanch) taught English at BYU. Two had master’s degrees and one a Ph.D. Yikes! The bishop of the singles ward put us in family groups. The Church had announced building a temple in Provo, and were asked to work together as families to save money for the temple. I remember we fixed breakfast for the guys before work/class. During the deer hunt several of the guys decided to shoot a deer so we could eat the venison and not purchase meat, and give the money saved to the temple. They got one, and fortunately a Hawaiian woman in our group knew how to fix it so it would taste less gamey. It was pretty good, and we were able to give a large sum of money to the temple fund.

1964

1965

1966

The next June Richard was graduating from high school, and I wanted to be there. In Spring Maureen, with whom I had become a good friend, purchased a convertible Karmen Ghia and suggested driving it to Boston. We were still young enuf to want tans, so we wore bathing suits under clothes, and once we got out on the open road, we put the top down and took off our blouses. By the time I got back home, my face and arms were really dark brown! One of the days coming back we were cruising along a freeway when a large black cloud appeared overhead. We had just passed an exit so we were like drowned rats before we could pull off the road and put the top up! The family of course was happy to have us visit, but one of the best things of the trip for me was that Mother once again really liked my friend – even tho she was a Mormon!

The next year Richard Hicks from Las Vegas was in our ward and we dated a fair amount. He left and Bob Keeler became part of our ward family. My dear friend Ozzie (Delmont Oswald) was also in the ward and we became close friends for 25 years – but not in a romantic way. In fact, he dated Maureen for awhile. About the time my brother came to Provo, I was dating Carl Johnson from California. Maureen and Bob began dating seriously and Bob was concerned because he was 6 years younger. His father was a temple worker and said that wouldn’t matter in the eternities, so they got married. In 1969 before I moved from Provo and BYU, Carl proposed. He was such a nice guy, but once again I didn’t love him. I prayed and stewed and prayed, but never got a positive feeling for marriage.

1967

Altho I had gone home to visit most Christmases and several summers, my family had been encouraging me to move home again. I was sorry to miss knowing my siblings as they grew up, but I didn’t miss the constant bickering and fighting between my parents, and at one point I think I wrote a letter to my father saying that was a reason I didn’t want to move back. At some point he called me on the phone and said things were better and to please come.

Since I needed to leave BYU and find job that would pay more, I decided this would be the time. I made all arrangements, packed everything up, and the evening before the morning I was to be driving across country, a fellow named Gordon stopped by. He was someone I had dated previously who had moved to California a couple of years before. I had really liked him a lot, and I remember his bishop telling me that Gordon wasn’t ready for marriage yet (2-3 years previously) but that he felt sure when he was ready he would look me up. So here he was – right at the moment I was leaving town. We talked for some time, and he begged me to stay. But I just didn’t see how I could do that to my parents. He promised he would write, and I did get one letter, but he definitely was ready for marriage, and got married mid-summer. I don’t know; could that have worked? But I was hopefully being guided by the Holy Ghost and felt I needed to go home then.

However, that summer was a difficult one. I was again in the middle of squabbles. Even my father’s friend, Don Lombardi, took me to lunch to plead my father’s cause and ask me to try to help; to intervene. But I wasn’t a professional counselor, my parents never saw eye-to-eye or really made an effort to understand where the other one was coming from, so it was impossible. And I didn’t want to stay . . .

I thought perhaps I could live on the East Coast and be closer to home so I applied for a job in Washington, D.C. I went down, had an interview, and was offered a job (I can’t remember what it was, but I would be working for an LDS guy.) But it didn’t feel right so I declined the job and went back to Boston (Watertown) with a determination to return to Utah. I didn’t have a clue where I would live or work there either, but I hoped and prayed something would work out. It just wasn’t good for me to be home.

1968

In early 1968 my father died, opening the way for Richard to come to BYU. He had had 2 years of school in Boston, but he had visited the BYU campus when he about 12 and wanted to go to college there. My father wouldn’t have allowed that while he was alive. Of course I had great hope that he might join the Church. I talked to the dorm mother at Helaman Halls so I could get Richard a great roommate – preferably a returning missionary. All preparations were carefully made, but the first weekend his newly returned missionary roommate went off with his girlfriend for the weekend and was dismissed from school – so much for a returning missionary! But I think it was early in his 2nd year that he got with a good family home evening group and his testimony began to grow resulting in his baptism. Not too long after that he met Alice, they were married in the Idaho Falls temple, and they are parents of eight wonderful children and 5 grandchildren at this writing. His marriage and children will make all the difference for our family in terms of posterity in the Church!

1969

I made all the arrangements to leave BYU by June 1969. The Dean at the time in the College of Humanities & Social Sciences (Ralph Britsch) agreed that my skills deserved a higher level of pay, but BYU (or the Church) just wasn’t going to allow it. So he encouraged me to leave. I began interviewing for jobs and began working at the Foreign Study League who sponsored trips to Europe with high school students and teachers. It was difficult to go – find a job, a place to live, etc. Mae knew a woman who had purchased a condo and wanted to share the cost for just a year.

1970

At the Foreign Study League about 2/3 were LDS and the rest were not. The first year I rented a room from a friend of Mae Blanch’s which wasn’t satisfactory. But in that year I met and worked with Sharon Sager Boskovich who was still living at home. She agreed to move into an apartment, and we found one, finally, in Murray. It seemed very far away from SLC, and we both felt that, but nothing closer to the city was available.

I remember that Sharon’s Dad had a difficult time letting her live away from home, but we visit them often. Sharon had macular degeneration so couldn’t see well at all. She drove a car but just around neighborhoods. I remember that she trained me so when someone was coming toward us as we walked, she had me whisper who it was so really no one knew how bad her eyesight was. In our apartment we ate off a bridge table, and she sat on the side next to me instead of opposite so she could see what I was saying.

Sharon became a dear friend, and we came to love the Murray 9th Ward. I believe we moved there in the Fall of 1970 or about Jan of 1971. Dorene Jones was Relief Society president and became a good friend over the years. I can’t remember the bishop’s name the first year, but then Bishop Ray Andrus was called. It seems like the first calling I had was the Young Woman President for 2-3 years, and then I was 1st counselor in the Young Woman Stake Presidency with Verna Challis (from my ward) and the Stake Young Woman President.

1971

Being in Young Women and working full-time was an amazing challenge – particularly with camping as part of it. I enjoyed the young women, but all that was required was totally new to me. I did my best and enjoyed the girls. Camping was quite a challenge for this city girl! As president I did camp for two summers – five days and a total of 5 hours’ sleep! I totally crashed when I got home! But it was great bonding with the girls. I was ward Young Women President three years? but only two summers, I believe. However, as my 30’s flew by, and especially with the Young Women, I was increasingly aware that I wasn’t married and my child-bearing years were flying by. I prayed a lot about it.

In an effort to help us, Bishop Andrus invited us to his home one Monday evening a month so we could have FHE with a family. But in reality it was more difficult emotionally during that time because it reminded me of what I was missing in a family of my own. So after a few months we decided not to do it any more. The bishop was trying so hard to be helpful, but I would often dissolve in tears so it wasn’t worth it – better not to know visually what I was missing!

The Jones family had a large garden and began teaching me the rudiments of gardening. To begin with, I helped them, and the next year they gave me a small plot of my own. I really enjoyed it and began thinking about when and how I would have a home and garden of my own.

1972

1973

1974

Meanwhile, around Nov. 1974/75, just after Thanksgiving, Sharon ran into a fellow we had worked with at the Foreign Study League – Dan Boskovich. In January of that year Foreign Study League had been purchased by TransAmerica and moved to the New York area. Any of us who wanted to could move to the New York office. I went to check it out, but once again didn’t want to move to the East Coast. That meant looking for another job in SLC. I finally took a job at Utah Biological Test Lab working for Reed Harker in about September of that year.

Meanwhile, Sharon learned Dan’s mother had passed away leaving him with no family. She invited him to dinner the next Sunday, they were engaged about a week later and married at the end of January!

It’s difficult losing roommates who become like family, and the older you get, the more difficult it is! But Dorene Jones said that the solution would be to have Pat Russell, who had been living alone, move into my apartment.

1975

The Jones’ also offered to let me buy a piece of their property on Brahma Dr. for only $5,000 so I could begin to realize the dream of having my own home. They were so generous – at that time they likely could have gotten a minimum of $30,000 for the land! This was also a time when few single women could procure a bank loan to build a house. But while working for FSL I had had business dealings with Prudential bank so they agreed to give me a loan if, come September when raises came, UBTL would guarantee my salary would go from $12,000 yearly to $15,000. Reed Harker agreed to it and signed the paper. Wow! Dorene Jones also recommended a builder named Al Tripp with whom they had dealings and who they trusted.

I need to stop and note that I was sometimes feeling like my life was a roller coaster ride – nothing and no one was permanent nor could be counted on. I yearned for some permanency. Still, Heavenly Father was watching over me and putting me in the path of people who could and would help. Sometimes it’s difficult to see that in the moment., but the prospect of having a home of my own would be such a blessing and would give me something of my own regardless of what else did or would take place. I knew I was still on Heavenly Father’s radar screen! So I procured a loan, talked to Al Tripp about building a small house in the summer of 1975. Construction began in September, and I learned many things I had no clue about!

It must have been close to that time that I was called to be Verna Challis’ counselor in the Stake Young Women Presidency. Once again, I knew nothing about a stake calling, but she was a patient teacher – and once again I had to go camping the next summer, but it was easier then when I was ward Young Woman President.

Knowing absolutely nothing about building a house, I was very busy watching and running around as my little house began to take shape – altho it seemed so very slow! I could hardly wait! Because of the expense, and also because I couldn’t afford it, we decided not to finish the basement. Every day after work I checked on how things were going. I was amazed at how small the footprint was in the ground – it looked like they were building a doll house! Then it was fun to see the walls come up, etc. Once the roof was on and windows in, I went over every evening to clean up the day’s mess of plaster, nails, etc. I was amazed at what was happening in terms of building and the messiness left.

Before too long it was my turn to being painting – again knowing zip about how to do it. I got a little bit of help, and it was comforting to not have to worry too much about that first paint job. It was the final coat of paint that people would look at – but it came out pretty good!

Somewhere along the way as finishing touches were being done, Al Tripp came by and asked if I could drive out to see his daughter’s house he had just built. It was lovely – with lots of upgrades I couldn’t afford. The stairs from the kitchen to basement were wood spindles whereas I could only afford metal. He asked if I liked the wood. It was beautiful! Then he said he would like to put wood in my house at no extra cost if I would let him. How sweet of him!

I think that may have been one of the Christmases I didn’t go home. Mother was in Florida where Ray was; Richard and Alice were probably in Provo with very young children.

1976

Finally on July 3, 1976 the little house at 315 E. Brahma Dr. was finished enough so that I could move in! It was a very exciting and special time to have my own little house!

Of course there was still outside work – soil and grass, trees and bushes, a garden, and sprinkler system to do. It was amazing to me how much there was still to do. I worked very hard for months, but the work was very rewarding – to think it was mine, all mine! The house and yard were my temporal focus for years to come, and I was very grateful to Heavenly Father for the blessing of having it on such a meager salary.

Close to the time my little house was being completed, my Mother called from Florida saying she could no longer afford to keep her Floridian condo. Wow! Where would I put her in my house, and how would I deal with her smoking – especially in winter? The only house solution was to finish 1/2 of the basement which added a large family room, a bathroom, and a bedroom. Somehow I was able to add that expense to the mortgage, but I worried about it being too cold down there with just one thermostat for the furnace. Mother kept saying she liked it cold, and Ray said she kept her Florida condo very cold; in fact, too cold for him so I guess it was okay. In good weather the smoking issue wasn’t a problem because Mother could sit outside in the shade. But in winter it was a huge issue for me. I just couldn’t have her smoke in the house. (One of my dreams for a new house was not having it smell smokey like Mother’s or Karen’s or Ray’s). Yet I felt so guilty having her continually go out in the cold garage to smoke. It wore on me terribly.

Also I was working a lot of hours, coming home to fix dinner, and then most nights leaving to do some YW meeting or activity. Mother didn’t understand. Who could blame her?

That Mother’s Day we had just sat down to dinner when the Stake President called and asked if I could come over to his office. I said we were in the middle of dinner, but he wanted me to come right then. So I went and didn’t leave a very happy mother.

At issue was calling a new Stake Young Women President. Six months previous to the current president, Verna Challis, had fallen and injured her back so I had been “acting president.” She asked to be released and the stake president told me he had prayed and fasted many times as to who her replacement should be. My name kept coming up, but he didn’t want to call me because I was single. Finally he said “I don’t want you, but the Lord obviously does,” and he made the calling. I couldn’t believe I had been called that way, nor could I believe after waiting 6 months that he had to call me away from dinner!

Back to Mother – over the years living in the West I had to learn to eat differently because my roommates did. Now Mother was the one who ate differently, and as I cooked dinners I found she ate very little. Neither she nor I could afford to buy twice as many groceries, so it was a problem. What a dilemma! For several years I had sent money to Florida to help support her; but I just couldn’t do it any more with house expenses and a relatively small income. I was really beside myself. I prayed about it continually and kept feeling like I should put her in an apartment. Finally after two years I talked to Ray, and he was able to find an affordable apartment in Midvale. The catch was that it was right adjacent to the train tracks. Aigh! But she insisted that she slept right thru them.

I felt guilty often about Mother’s situation. But I really didn’t know what else to do. She wasn’t in the least interested in the Church or discussing religion whereas between work and callings, I was knee deep in religion. Thankfully Ray’s family were close by (the year after Mother moved, Ray’s family came to Utah. But they were only active for a short while and then went inactive) so that made them more available than I was.

1977

Life was rolling along nicely by summer of 1977 when I received a phone call from the Church Office Building (COB) Employment Office. The secretary asked if I would come interview for a job opening. I was perplexed; I was happy working for UBTL with Reed Harker and not really interested in making a change. But they asked if I would at least come talk to them. I did and the position was General Secretary to the Primary President. I also met with the General Primary Presidency. I had no idea what the position would involve really, but after working at BYU and learning so little, I wasn’t interested in working for the Church again. So I declined the offer.

Two weeks later I received a second call from the Church – this time from the head of the Personnel Department indicating they had been able to increase the salary and asking if I would come back to them again. He specifically mentioned that Marion D. Hanks was Primary’s advisor and he would like to talk to me. I talked to Reed and said again I didn’t think I was interested so why talk to them again. However, Reed felt that since a General Authority was involved this time, I should take the opportunity to talk to Elder Hanks, and the rest, as they say, is history. I began working for Primary in September 1977.

As you might imagine, working at the COB and for The Church directly as opposed to BYU was VERY different. Then early on I came to realize it was not an eight hour job. So much to learn – about Primary itself (I had never served in that auxiliary), about the mix of personalities in the General Primary Presidency, about the working of the Church, about interacting with General Authorities and their staff, etc. etc. At that time the position I took on was both a job and a calling. I was Executive Assistant to the Primary President (job title), and General Secretary of the Primary (calling). To begin with, I wasn’t a called board member. But working hours were long, and I still held a stake position with the Young Women. However, often I didn’t get home from the office soon enuf for whatever YW event or meeting was taking place.

I began working as the Primary Administrative Assistant to the President in September 1977 and the presidency was very busy preparing for the 150th Primary celebration the next Fall. It was a huge undertaking with a parade, a dinner and program, and an embroidered gift of the Primary motto for each honored guest – to name a few. All of it was terribly new to me so I worked long hours trying to catch up.

1978

In April 1978 Sister Shumway, rather reluctantly, I thought, decided to call me to the Primary General board prior to the party. I was surprised except for the fact that it seemed to be part of the position. It was and continued to be quite an honor for the 14 years I served in the Primary office.

I began working in Primary half way thru Sister Shumway’s term of service, altho at the the time our presidents didn’t have a specific number of years to serve. Before Sr. Shumary, Sr. Levern Parmley serve some 35 years but that wasn’t possible age-wise with Sr. Shumway.

Even tho it was the late 1970’s, we used that awful purple mimeograph to make copies with, and it was very messy to use. No word processor or computers yet.

I attended all of the presidency meetings and all meetings with Primary’s advisor – Elder Marion D. Hanks. Then we had 4 secretaries working under my direction to carry out what needed to be done. They answered phones, typed, copied, put together, and all else that was needed.

The Primary offices were on the 20th floor of the church’s high rise building. We had very little interaction with Young Women on the 25th floor or Relief Society in their own building. Ruth Funk was Young Women President and Barbara Smith was Relief Society President.

In 1978 the Primary’s 150th birthday party was held and it was quite remarkable what took place beginning with a huge parade and floats in downtown SLC. That was followed by a large dinner and program by children with many General Authorities attending. I was quite in awe seeing so many dignitaries. I remember seeing Elder Howard W. Hunter sitting at the back of the hall sweetly caring for and feeding his wife who had had a stroke and was quite unable to help herself.

During the first 2 1/2 years working in Primary the presidency consisted of Naomi Shumway, president; Colleen Lemmon, first counselor; and Dorothea Murdock, second counselor.

I had never before worked for women, and it was compounded by their not having worked in the business world. I learned that Sr. Shumway was quite insecure and, wanting things to be just so, she told her counselors to not participate in meetings with general authorities. Elder Marion D. Hanks was Primary’s advisor, and as we met with him monthly, he often addressed questions to one of the counselors, but they deferred to the president.

In the day-to-day work, it was difficult for me to know just what to do or say, and I admit to thinking about changing jobs. However, after I had worked there 2.5 years, the presidency was changed in 1980. At that general conference Pres. Kimball also announced changing meeting schedules. Heretofore sacrament meetings were late afternoon or evening, Sunday School was in the morning, and Primary was on a weekday.

1980

At General Conference in April 1980, a new General Primary Presidency was called. Dwan J. Young, president, had been a board member for 10? years prior to being called and was an expert on Scouting among other things. Virginia Cannon was 1st counselor with particular expertise in music, and Michaelene Grassli was 2nd counselor. Virginia had also been on the Primary board a number of years, while Michaelene had been there just a few years.

The Relief Society president at the time was Barbara Smith, and the Young Women President, Elaine Cannon. The Primary office was on the 20th floor of the high rise building, the Young Women office on the 24th floor and Relief Society of course was in their own building. Unfortunately, Sr. Smith felt her organization was superior to the others headed by women, and the fact that the sisters had their own building only added to that tho all women in the church served in several auxiliaries.

On the 20th floor, Primary had an office for each of the presidency, a small one for the General Secretary, desks for 4 secretaries, a board room, and a working room for board members. Members of the board included some who carried over from the previous board for about a year; ie Phyllis McMullin, Blanche Miles, Carolyn Welling, and Katy Harris.

Newly called board members: Ruth Wright, Betty Jo Jepsen, Margo Weaver, Virginia Marsh, Delpha Baird

Spencer W. Kimball was president of the Church, initially with Nathan Eldon Tanner and Marion G. Romney counselors. Pres. Tanner died and Gordon B. Hinckley took his place. Not too long after Pres. Tanner’s death, Pres. Romney became ill, was bedridden and incapacitated. Then Pres. Kimball became ill and had a couple of surgeries which rejuvenated him until about 1983/84 when he lay in a coma most of the time until he passed away in 1985. During that time Pres. Hinckley was alone in the first presidency since Pres. Romney was still alive which lasted for approximately two years. It was amazing to experience not being able to obtain many decisions because the Lord’s prophet was incapacitated and Pres. Hinckley felt many things required the prophet’s okay. However, there were critical times when President Kimball awoke for a short time, gave Gordon B. Hinckley some information and then returned to a coma-like state.

Prior to 1980, Primary was held weekdays, Sunday School was Sunday mornings, and Sacrament Meeting Sunday evenings. But in 1980, because of the Church growth and distances so many had to travel, the Church changed to a 3-hour block on Sundays which included Primary. That meant that all Primary materials – music, lessons, etc. – had to be rewritten, had to be gospel-oriented and appropriate for Sunday worship. The 3-hour “block” consisted of 1 hr 15 mins of Sacrament Meeting and 1 hr 45 mins of Jr. and Sr. Primary. Because of age differences, Jr. and Sr. Primary were divided into separate opening exercises, classes and music training. The Nursery (18 months to 3 years) was separate and ran the entire time that way.

Needless to say, the new Primary presidency and board scrambled to write and get approvals for new manuals for each age group, and especially new gospel-centered music, wheras previously they sang about “Little Purple Pansies” and Give Said the Little Stream” new, wonderful music was introduced like “Army of Helaman,” “The Lord Needs Valiant Servants,” and “I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus.” As soon as a call went out for new music, hundreds poured in which Sr. Cannon listened to and sorted thru.

All new lessons and music, once received in the building, approved by the Primary presidency, then had to go thru Correlation, the Music Department, Primary’s General Authority advisor, and finally needed approval from the Quorum of 12 Apostles. It was a very long process. But the result was an awesome music book.

1983

1984

In April 1984 Barbara Smith (Relief Society) and Elaine Cannon (Young Women) were released and Barbara Winder (Relief Society) and Ardeth Kapp (Young Women) were called. Right after General Conference Pres. Hinckley called the three area presidents into his office and said he wanted all three areas to work much closer together in a common cause and to be housed together in the Relief Society building. He also asked them to figure out a way whereby all three could be housed together in the Relief Society building, indicating the need for areas to “be on the same page” as opposed to competing with each other.

Pres. Hinckley said the presidents had been chosen in part because they were team players and could make working together a reality. And, after all, money for building the Relief Society building was raised by all women in the Church regardless of their callings and not just those serving in Relief Society.

Presidents Young, Kapp, and Winder (who incidentally were born the same year), their counselors, and admin. assistants (JP) immediately began to carry out his assignment. In the Relief Society building on the 2nd floor were 3 large offices in 3 corners of the building which were occupied previously by just the R. S. presidency. Each admin asst. to each member of the R.S. presidency had large adjoining offices. Those offices worked perfectly for the 3 areas. Primary and Young Women counselors each had an office close by and the board room on the same floor was divided in two with space for 2 secretaries in the middle for Relief Society counselors. There was a board room on the 3rd floor in which the three area presidents and their admin. assists met weekly to communicate with each other. It was an historic and very special time.

Typically, the presidency came to the office Tues/Wed/Thurs. Monday generally was the General Authorities day off after they had been at Stake conferences on the weekend. And Fridays many of them left in the afternoon if they were traveling overseas especially. But it wasn’t terribly unusual for someone to call and want a Primary representation in a meeting on a Monday or Friday which I would attend in the absence of the presidency. Because the presidency involved me in virtually everything, I felt I could represent them well. I certainly didn’t make decisions for the president, but, depending on what the meeting was about, I would either immediately call her after the meeting or put it on Tuesdays presidency agenda.

In those days we had open access to the Administration building. I walked from the high rise on the first level parking to the administration building. A security officer was at a desk as I entered, but usually knew me and didn’t ask for ID.

There were two elevators – one at the end of the hall which I typically used, and one close to the security desk which some of the Brethren, and especially the 1st Presidency used. I remember a time when I was with Dwan waiting for that elevator when out came Pres. Kimball being his usual cheery self.

That reminds me that in the 14 years I worked for Primary, and the hundreds of times I was either in a meeting with a member of the 1st Presidency, Quorum of Twelve or Quorum of 70 or I passed them in a building or parking level, they always smiled and said “hello” except for one member of the Quorum of 12 who tended to be sober and unsmiling.

During those years of working with Dwan Young, Virginia Cannon and Michaelene Grassli we worked hard and long, but working with Dwan was a wonderful experience which last for 8 years. I hadn’t know Dwan very well while she was a board member and wondered what to except of her as president. But she was wonderfully warm, communicative and involving. Dwan treated everyone as an equal. Even tho the pressure was enormous to basically invent or put together an entirely new Primary – new lessons, new format, new music, etc. – she was always positive and warm in her approach to others.

Every week included presidency meetings, a Primary board meeting, a RS/YW/PR presidency meeting to coordinate the auxiliaries, and lots of other meetings. It was exceedingly busy, and I often worked 12-14 hour days. In addition, I was a member of the board and had been assigned, among other things, to visit stake Primaries both in Utah and sometimes in non-Utah stakes. My memory isn’t complete, but some of the assignments I had as a board member were: (small town) Idaho; New Orleans, Louisiana; Hingham, MA; Haiti/Puerto Rico/Dominican Republic; Tahiti/Samoa/Tonga; Portugal/Spain/Italy.

1991

I served with Dwan Young for eight wonderful, busy, exhausting, amazing years. Everyone loved working with her from board members to other auxiliaries, to general authorities. Even when things were stressful, she was never anything but positive.

But the time came finally when she was released. Her successor was Michaeleine Grassli who chose Betty Jo Jeppsen and Ruth Wright as her counselors.

2000

2005

2009

Linda and I talked about taking a 7-day cruise and we both thought it would be fun to d a Mediterranean cruise. The problem was that Linda said she could only go in July. Yikes! That’s a very hot time of year in that part of the world! But for her it was either go in July or not go. So we signed up.

The first cruise stop was at Lucca, Italy where Cristina and Luca live. So we notified them and they met us where the bus dropped peopel off. It was wonderful to see them again and spend 1 1/2 hours walking around town before we had to board the bus again. Fortunately, we had seen the sights a couple of years earlier, so just strolling around and visiting was very satisfying. As expected, the temperature in the towns around the Mediterranean was quite hot – 90+ temps with that much humidity. Two places we visited were exceptionally hot and sweaty – Pompei in Naples, and ? They were each 100 degrees with close to 100% humidity. I was perspiring so much I was worried about passing out. Gratefully in both cases, I made it to the air conditioned bus.

At the end of the cruise we took a tour bus through Rome to a hotel which would take us to the airport the next morning. But unfortunately I became ill right after checking into the hotel. I was sick to my stomach, perspiring profusely, and also had diarrhea. Argh! Would I be well enough to get on the early morning plane the next morning? Fortunately, I was blessed to be well enough to fly home!

Addendum #1 – Testimony of the Holy Ghost’s Role in Conversion for Sunday School 2/15/2009

Began with unanswered questions in Jr. High and High School regarding the Catholic Church –

• Trinity (Godhead) – 3 Gods in 1
• Grievous sins pardoned by Priest by prayers / lighting candles
• Testimony supposed to be strengthened by many acts during Lent – give up something (smoking), attend Mass every morning before school, walk to 7 churches in the area (many miles) . . .
• Attended Mass on Sundays with my father. Had many questions after priests’ sermon that he couldn’t answer. In fact, he really hadn’t listened.

After graduating from business school, first job assigned people to break and lunch groups. In Boston 90% were Catholic – one girl said she was Mormon. I was stunned but impressed with her; felt prompted to know her better. Why would a nice girl join a weird church?

By the time I was out of school but still living at home I decided not to attend Mass. My father wasn’t happy – to say the least. Prompted to call Mormon friend; long religious discussion; decided to attend her church next week.

I had no intention of joining another church. But the hymns (I Stand All Amazed); the Sunday School lessons (teachers like Hal Eyring / Stephen Covey / Truman Madsen were compelling) and many questions seemed to be answered.

Attended 1 1/2 years not wanting missionary lessons; not thinking seriously about making changes, not reading Book of Mormon. Couldn’t imagine becoming Mormon yet. There were feelings often that the doctrine made sense and so many questions were answered.

Finally, I agreed to read the Book of Mormon to see if I would experience what so many had testified of. I’m not sure I wanted to because of the consequences. But by now I felt an obligation. While reading Alma 30 I received a strong witness – strong enough that I was compelled to tell my mother. Strong enough to continue toward baptism after 2 1/2 years of attending church even when fellow workers turned their backs and school friends turned away. Strong enough to compel me to leave home several months after baptism and come to a foreign land (Utah) after a strong prompting to leave Boston, and strong enough to for me to stay in Utah the first year when I knew no one, my family was upset, and I was terribly lonely. At that time the blessings of the gospel seemed out of reach and yet I knew I had received a witness from the Holy Ghost which I couldn’t deny.

Addendum #2 – Description of Piccolo’s Pharmacy

Piccolos was in Watertown Square on the West side of the Charles River. In the block of stores owned by the family, the combination drug store and soda fountain was by far the biggest. There were also three other stores which were rentals. The only one I remember was Richard Murello’s hair salon (he had graduated from Watertown High School with me).

As you walked in the main door of the store, the cash register and cigarette sales were on the right; then the soda fountain; and the pharmacy was across to the other side. There were 12-15 booths in the store and approximately 10 stools at the soda fountain. Behind the soda fountain was a swinging door with a circular window which led to a very small kitchen. During lunch time, Auntie Ange cooked back there.

Addendum #3 – People I Lived With

SLC 1958-1959

In previous writing I mentioned that the first roommates I had were Carolyn Bennett from Preston, Idaho and Noma Bowman from Ogden, Utah. Both were school teachers. Noma went home to Ogden every weekend and at the end of the school year got married. Carolyn went on a Spanish speaking mission to Texas at the end of the school year, and then married a fellow missionary.

1959-

The same year they left, I had an offer to work at BYU so had to move to Provo. I had never been there but two missionaries I had known in New England were living there. Loydoce Strong and Donna Turley. They didn’t have room for me but found an opening somewhere else. It was all very strange to me trying to adjust to new roommates and a new job. I knew nothing about BYU so the terminology was often foreign to me. Was that when I went to live in a house on Cedar Ave? It had three bedrooms each with a double bed which I was to share. I knew no one there. My bed mate was Joyce Wilde from a small town in Alberta, Canada, and she slept with large rollers in her hair.

I lived there for a number of years and with numberous roommates including Ruth Athay from just north of Bear Lake, Idaho who was Pres. Wilkinson’s secretary and a whiz at her job. She worked long hours and never complained. I really admired Ruth but found it difficult to get to know her.

When I was living on Cedar Ave. I also met Delmont Oswald (Ozzie) who became a dear friend. I had other roommates from Canada (Arlene Litchfield and Vivian). And roommates from a place called Delta far out west in Utah who names I can’t remember.

I received my first proposal while living there from Chuck (Charles) Abercromby. We had only dated 3-4 times so I was really surprised. On a Sunday afternoon Chuck invited me to go for a ride. We drove and rove finally stopping in a little town south of Provo called Price – a place I hadn’t yet heard of. Since it was Sunday, we didn’t stop anywhere, and there really wasn’t much to see, so we were just going to turn around and head back. But Chuck stopped the car and totally surprised me by asking me to marry him. I hadn’t known him very long, I had only moved to Provo a few months, had only been a member for about 1 1/2 years. I was still trying to adjust to my new life – gospel-wise and geographic-wise! I surely wasn’t ready to marry and had no warm fuzzy feeling toward Chuck.

But he was ready, and two weeks later he proposed to someone else. I understand they have eight children! No regrets!

Addendum #4 – 4/2/09 Journal Entry

Two evenings ago I received a phone call from Bishop Mortimer’s Executive Secretary, Wayne Manwaring. He said the bishop wanted to meet with me this evening (Thursday) at 8 pm. Since he bishop has really been pushing missions and missionary work, I figured that was why he would want to talk to me. If it were something else, one of his counselors would have talked to me.

I know there were two kinds of missions he would be thinking of – a regular proselyting mission with a call from anywhere in the world from the First Presidency. Or a calling to do missionary work in the ward area to inactives and non-members.

So in the two days I had to think about it, I did. I prayed about it several times while in the temple yesterday and even put my name on the prayer roll. As I thought about it today, and after re-reading my patriarchal blessing, and of course praying as well, I became concerned that if I didn’t make progress on my personal history, the 8 mm family films, and more family history work, I might not get it done before I left this earth. And no one else could do the first two things especially. About the films, I’m missing a critical one with Richard in it and can’t imagine where it is. But I stopped at Allen’s Photo today and learned that the first six canisters of film would take up on DVD, so I could probably do that much without the missing film. It will be expensive, however, and there doesn’t seem to be a way to identify the relatives on the DVD.

The more I thought about it and prayed about it, it seemed to me that I should concentrate on getting these things done – my own three-fold mission. Yet heretofore when I have been called, especially to a busy position, the bishop was pretty adamant; ie had felt spiritually storng that I take the call and I always did.

Tonight the bishop and I chatted about several things; then he asked me about a missionary call. I told him I couldn’t proselyte away from home for three years until my mortgage was paid and that I would prefer to go with Linda when I did go. He then asked about a ward mission. I told him about my own three-fold mission, that over the years I had responsible callings that kept me from doing any of those things; also that my patriarchal blessing said my mission on earth was to do work for my ancestors – and that family on both sides didn’t live long lives.

The bishop paused only for a minute, and then said I needed to do my own three-fold mission and he would not call me to do missionary work. I was very relieved, and I remembered how calm I felt on my way to the meeting about having time to do my own work. I’m very grateful that it turned out that way and hope that I will spend my time more wisely to that and so I can leave a legacy for my family.

2009 Special Birthday Cards

Linda – A really close friendship doesn’t just happen – it takes time to build the kind of trust and respect that makes a friendship a lasting one. Friends are those people who touch one another’s hearts and lives and make them brighter and happier as time goes by.

Happy birthday to someone I’m so glad to call my friend.

Dwan Young – What a blessing you have been to me for so many years. You are an example of faith, Christ-like service, loyalty and love. I value our friendship.

Betty Baker – Thank you for your friendship. Our “walks and talks” are so uplifting to me. I appreciate your insights in the many areas we discuss. Thanks for being such a good and sensitive friend.