Barons Oct 6th

I don’t normally update that much about Tyler but there are some big updates this time. He has always been hard to live with and it’s always been hard for him to live with us. He has had many physical and mental health challenges.

The past few weeks he has been especially having a hard time and we were beginning to suspect that he had autism and we were starting to talk about how he could move out of the house and live on his own because it’s so hard for him to live with us (or anyone) and hard for us to live with him.

Before we could figure all that out, he had a major incident on Saturday where he got really mad, hit some holes in the house, and when I said I was going to leave with Kayla and Ruby to keep them safe and let him cool down, he started cutting himself with a knife saying if I didn’t stay then he was going to kill himself.

I knew he really wouldn’t go through with killing himself and the cuts he made were fairly superficial but I couldn’t take the chance and he wouldn’t put the knife down and calm down so I felt like I had no choice but to call 911.

He was charged with some domestic abuse charges but we are told the charges will likely be dropped since this is his first offense. The annoying part is they said it will be months before it is all finalized since the courts are really backed up. He has his first court date on Dec. 9th but they said it will likely get pushed back several times.

He ended up going to jail for the night, stayed at a friend’s house for one night, and then we got him in an airbnb for a week so we could figure out what to do next.

I am so grateful that our many prayers were answered and we have made really good progress this week.

Tyler has tried many medications over the years to try to feel better and act better. We still haven’t found anything that both worked and didn’t have side effects. When all this happened, he wasn’t on his ADHD or OCD medication because of the side effects but they used to work well – when he would remember to take it. His former psychiatrist quit a few months ago so that didn’t help anything either.

We felt like finding a new psychiatrist was at the top of the list. I spent many hours researching and calling, trying to find a good psychiatrist and/or someone who could diagnose him with autism. There are generally really long waits to get into an autism diagnosis center, like at least 18 months.

I finally got him an appointment with the same company we have been going to but with a new psychiatrist that can help with his medications and she can do a 2 1/2 hour autism diagnosis session in five weeks.

She’s in Layton but we only had to go there in person for the initial visit and for the autism visit. Other than that, all our appointments we can have online. So, we went to our first session on Thursday. It went really well. The worst part was driving home during rush hour.

She was personable and did a very thorough job and asked him way more questions than the other psychiatrist did. She decided that his sleep and his feeling extremely stressed all the time / anxiety is the most important thing to focus on right now. I agree.

He is going to start two new prescriptions. I really hope they work, he will take them, and they don’t have side effects. If they don’t, we can message her and work on figuring things out before our next appointment in a month.

She also recommended he see a therapist/psychologist once a week so we’re going to work on figuring that out next week. I think it’s a fantastic idea because he really likes to talk, but right now he only talks to me and wants to talk a lot and it’s just not practical for me to talk to him as much as he wants me to. Plus, now that he is an adult he needs to stop relying on me so much.

The other big thing we worked on this week was finding him an apartment. I went through all the options and finally felt good about applying for one apartment. I was really nervous about applying since he was arrested and they do credit and background checks. I picked the place I did because it is an apartment complex with good reviews and is nice but not too nice.

I wanted something he could be happy with for a long time because he really hates change and even though we are told all the charges should be dropped, I want him to be somewhere he can be in for a long time so we don’t have to go through the whole application process anytime soon – because it is a HUGE pain – and because if he does have a record it will be really hard to find a good place.

We finally got the keys on Friday evening and we have been buying him all the essentials and moving his things in ever since. Tomorrow, the plan is to check him out of the airbnb and he can officially move in and get settled. He still has a decent amount of his things here, but they aren’t things he will need anytime soon and we can take our time moving them in.

It’s a one-bedroom apartment on the top/third floor on an end with his own washer and dryer and a huge closet. The apartment and complex are older but seem well taken care of. It’s called Country Springs Apartments and is about 600 S Orem Blvd, so a little south of Good Earth. It’s less than a five-minute drive from our house, depending on the lights.

We still have things to work out but we made a ton of progress this week and are hoping we can start getting back to a new normal now. The girls are relieved to not be living with Tyler and we are having fun talking about what we are going to do with his old room. Really, the only negative about the whole situation is money but I have faith the money part will all work out eventually. There are a lot more important things in life than money.

Since Megan isn’t so good about writing herself, I can report she seems to be doing well. The last two transfers she was back in her first apartment but was in charge of a different location and was a Sister Training Leader and training a new missionary. We just got word she was transferred to Dacula, Georgia, which is close to what she has implied was her favorite area so we are hoping this will be a good area for her too.

Norm has gone twice to Ashton, ID with one of his brothers to help one of his other brothers build his new house. He seems to enjoy any excuse to get outside and spend time with his brothers.

Kayla is enjoying singing a lot, as usual. We had a fun birthday party to celebrate Kayla turning 16, along with two of her cousins.

Ruby got her new, custom-made AFO’s (Ankle-Foot Orthoses) and she likes them and is good about wearing them. They don’t help her have less pain; they are mostly used to help her prevent injury and to keep the pain from getting worse.

We also found an ultra-lightweight wheelchair for Ruby on KSL Marketplace. We have been on the look for one for a few months and got one new in the box for half off the regular price so we’re excited about that.